An example of unconditional positive regard in a counseling setup would be when a client talks about one of his/her incidents where they are possibly in the wrong. The therapist in such conditions ensures that the client learns to take up responsibility for their mistakes or actions, while showing unconditional positive regard to the client, thus assuring the client that although they made a mistake, they can own it up and it does not make them less worthy of a person and they still deserve love and care.

As against this, conditional positive regard implies that people would be accepted and loved for only when they fulfill certain conditions imposed on them. Parents practicing this type of positive regard may value and care for their child only when they achieve something, such as winning a competition. Children of such parents end up believing that the only way they can gain acceptance of their parents is by accomplishing something and thus, grow up to be people pleasers. Thus, the growth of such children is seriously hampered and hence are unable to reach their full potential.

Practicing Unconditional Positive Regard

1. Being open: One of the most important ways of unconditionally accepting people is by being open to the fact and accepting that people are inherently different and just because someone’s views and ideas do not match with yours, it does not necessarily mean that they are wrong about their own. Acceptance of the fact that everyone has had their own journey of getting where they are and have had their own set of struggles can help people understand that although we’re all different, we ultimately are all trying to be better versions of ourselves, and thus, everyone deserves to be unconditionally accepted for who they are.

2. Offering support in difficult times: Providing someone a shoulder to cry on or simply letting the other person know that it all gets better can be a powerful method of assuring the individual that they are accepted and cared for even if they make mistakes or are going through difficult times. This method can be dynamic in everyday situations, especially in a therapeutic setup.

3. Practice it on yourself: Unconditional acceptance starts within oneself. When you learn to stop being hard on yourself and understand that you deserve to be accepted just for the fact of you being a human being, you learn to extend the same kind of acceptance and understanding towards other individuals. Client-centered therapy has produced some revolutionizing change in improving the effectiveness of therapy, with unconditional positive regard being one of the important components of this type of therapy. Unconditional positive regard used by parents towards their children facilitates growth and allows the children to reach their maximum potential and have a healthy emotional balance.

Overall, unconditional positive regard is an important quality to have towards oneself and others since it urges individuals to look at everyone not as embodiments of flawless figures but just as humans, who sometimes do the right things, sometimes make mistakes, but eventually are trying to be the finest versions of themselves.

Article wriiten by : Janhavi Pore, 15th November 2022